Hillbilly Holiday, 2005: Y’allbonics and Other Southern Sayings

May 30th, 2005 at 11:12 pm (Humor, East Tennessee and The South, Travel)

Hey! Hire yew?

Less than a week to Hillbilly Holiday, 2005. You should continue marinating in the sweet sounds of the South in the Required Listening post and continue working your way through some of the movies and t.v. shows listed in the Required Viewing posts. And in a few short days you should begin salivating in contemplation of the consumption of the foods described in the Stuff You Absolutely Must Eat When Visiting East Tennessee post.

You’ll also need to get your ears fine-tuned a bit so you can understand the folks when you get here. There’s nothing cooler than Southern colloquialisms delivered in a sweet southern drawl, and you can get your fill of such things during your trip to East Tennessee, if you’re paying attention and you got the ear for it.

Remember Ebonics? Well somebody took up the idea and applied to the south, just for fun. It’s Y’allbonics!

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner.”

OHL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts ohl in my pickup truck.”

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: “He cain’t breathe … give ‘im some ARE!”

BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam.
Usage: “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”

FAHT - (noun), (verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: “You younguns keep faht’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”

RAHTS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: “We Southerners are willin’ to faht for are rahts.”

CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage: “Just set that bare raht cheer”.

DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: “He’s did, Jim.”

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the ohl in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far.”

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: “I couldn’t unnerstand a word he said … must be from some farn country.”

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See “Arkansas native.”
Usage: “Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!”

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

HAZE - A contraction.
Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah … haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit’n ‘is lahf.”

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Greeting.
Usage: “Hey, hire yew?”

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) Contraction.
Usage: “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t heard from him in munts.”

RANCH - (noun)- Tool used for tight’nin’ bolts.
Usage: “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: “My grampa retard at age 65.”

SEED -(verb) - Past tense of “to see”.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City”.

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”

VIEW - Contraction (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City … view?”

By the way, different versions of the y’allbonics list are all over the web, and the list is often distributed as a joke email. I don’t know who wrote it. If it was you, let me know, and I’ll take it down and link to you instead.

For other Southern-language-related humor, check out Georgia Girl. She has a version of the y’allbonics list and more, such as How to Speak Southern, which might be an excerpt from this book by Steven Mitchell, If Microsoft was in Georgia, and On Moving to the South. Here’s a taste:

If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store….Don’t buy food at this store.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that “He needed killin” is a valid defense here.

Do not be surprised to find that many 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

On a (somewhat) more serious note, this is an About.com entry on Southern Slang, complete with the fine distinction between y’all and all y’all.

Y’all take care!